It has been a LONG time since I last posted..... I have much to share (mostly joyful news also). Penny's cancer is in remission.... and I now have VA benefits. =)

Well, as one can tell..... I haven't spoken on this blog for a while. The reasons are many, but the major reason was because I had received feedback that I might want to ease up posting for a while since it seemed I had nothing to report but bad news (plus my depression / anxiety was to the point I was being hospitalized for it and other things). Sometimes, when things are all bad, it is best not to dwell on them. They were all bad, until Penny's last surgery. Things got even better this past week. So, now is as good a time as any to ratchet back up the ol' blog.

The below 2 paragraphs will tell the news:

• Penny's cancer was eradicated last June by the removal of part of her left ureter (that ties her left kidney to her bladder). It was found that the cancer was deep in that ureter, and the Urologist was able to remove enough of the ureter to removal all signs of the cancer, but left enough ureter to reattach her left kidney back to her bladder (the worst case scenario was that her bladder, left ureter, and left kidney would be removed... so Penny essentially won the cancer lottery by being able to keep all of her organs). She is technically "in remission" right now and will be getting a Cystoscopy this November or December to see if the surgery's results remain "cancer free". Already, her hair is getting fuller again (now that she is no longer on chemo) and she is looking healthier. God has blessed us incredibly regarding Penny's cancer battle.

• 3 days ago, I was finally approved for a "Service Related Disability Rating" of 50% by the Veterans Administration. They acknowledge that my service medical records and my present medical condition show that I have very serious issues that were caused during my service in the United States Marine Corps. The fact that they acknowledge this 27 years after my release from service is a miracle in of itself (not many people win such battles this far after their service) and I'm not done with that battle either as they are still investigating my other medical issues also and I could be looking at an increase when they are done with their investigation. The fact I had a copy made of my Medical, Dental, and Service records the day before I was released played a huge role in the decision (since they could not find a lot of said records despite our efforts to get a copy of them through the normal channels). Incredibly, 2 months ago - they found the records of my operation in 1983 that had been deemed lost, so we are hopeful more records will be found. So now, I will earn enough to be able to ensure my family stays in our home. A 3 year battle is almost over, Wells Fargo was waiting for this decision and they can now make a decision regarding our loan modification. And I will be having a Social Security (SSDI ALJ hearing on 10/27 which will decide whether I am considered disabled enough for SSDI benefits. So the battle isn't over, but we have won the first round.

So later this week, I will find the time to go over what has transpired over the past year, and I will hopefully be able to articulate what it was like going through this very dark time this past year and what our future holds for us (and a couple of grand babies might be in our future as well).

In the interim, the future is so bright, we've gotta wear shades. =)

James 1:17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

Psalm 138:7 "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me."

Penny's cancer is back. =( We are now almost 3 years since Penny's Cancer diagnosis.

Penny's cancer is back. =(

Penny and I just received the results of the Operative and Pathology report from last Friday's Cystoscopy (her 13th Cystoscopy since February of 2012). The tumor was at the Bladder Neck (@ the 7 o'clock position) and was 3 cm in size. It was designated: "Papillary urothelial carcinoma, high grade". So it was a fast growing tumor. We will determine the course of treatment with her oncologist / urologist on January 2nd....... (hopefully more Valstar Chemo or BCG). Penny has made it almost 3 years with her bladder intact, and the goal is to continue that effort. She can use a few more prayers in her direction.......

So, what else has occurred in the last 3 months? 

September/October - I was taken to the VA hospital to the Psych Ward for observation. I was released after a week there (a very eye opening experience regarding treatment and the lack of help for other vets who are in more dire need than me). I spent my 23rd wedding anniversary (9/11) in isolation from the world, a very lousy experience. The VA facility is essentially, a dumping ground for some vets who are homeless or who can't take care of themselves and where Navy Recruits who get out due to mental anguish get processed for discharge. The VA staff wanted me to do ECT - Electroshock Treatment and after interviewing me, decided my issues were environmental as a result of stress, not physical like someone with a Bi-polar disorder (I was emphatic I would not do ECT unless it was a last resort). So of course, they put me on Lithium.  36 hours after I got home, I was taken to the ER for a Bleeding Bladder. Unfortunately, when the ER nurse put the catheter in, she tore up my urethra trying to force the catheter upon a path that was not the urethra path (I was in so much pain, I was screaming and Penny was crying while begging them to stop). I spent the next 4 weeks of hell having bleeding incidents (I was hospitalized 4 different times). The urologist then threw up his hands and recommended I go to a hospital downtown. I went to the VA instead, and the Urologist on staff there got things somewhat resolved within 8 days. I no longer use a catheter and a bag (and I'm having no more bleeding incidents).

October - Penny's 81 yr old father fell down at his home and was rushed to the Hospital. After that, it was evident he needed assisted living. Penny and I had 6 weeks to get his mobile home emptied, his cars sold, and get him into an assisted living home. With the help of our Church friends, we were able to get this accomplished (despite the 20 years of old "stuff" we had to pore through). Nobody would let me do anything physical, so I tried keeping things moving regarding projects (not an easy task considering the medications I am on).

November - our 16 year old dog "Maggie" (Border Collie mix) had gotten to the point where she could no longer see, could barely stand, couldn't go down stairs, and was going deaf. Along with Maggie's vet, we decided that we needed to stop her pain as her quality of life was very difficult (so she was put to sleep). Given Penny's attachment to her, I found a way to fill the hole by finding an animal rescue organization who would let us "foster" a dog (which we did at the end of November)... another Border Collie mix (her name is Lolly). The rescue pays for the vet bills and for food, and we provide the home and "care".

December - 2 weeks later, when we went to have her spayed, we were told she was pregnant with 7 puppies. Lolly gave birth less than a week later to 7 puppies (which we are now fostering also - our son is doing a great job of caring for them). Then Penny had her Cystoscopy (and her Cancer had returned). She goes to the Social Security doctor tomorrow (for additional xrays on her knee (that needs replacement). It is simply amazing we have been fighting for her to get Social Security for 9 years........

As of January 1st, we will be officially 4 months behind in our mortgage (this is the only thing we can't afford). Given we are upside down by $100,000 due to the fact the VA will not allow a reduction of the principal, we are looking at foreclosure very soon (and we have run out of options save winning the Lottery). Alas..... the hard part will be to find affordable housing in this area so Travis will continue to be eligible for services here (and can continue to work for Walmart here... where he is accepted and it is close by). Of course, unemployment was never extended by Congress..... but they are willing to fund other pork instead. Oy..... 

So that is the quick breakdown. I am going to try to get back to weekly updates.... as it is cathartic for me to do this once in a while.

Steinar

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May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13 | NIV

Giving it to God and trusting Him to show me the way.

Only God knows what is truth. I go to explore that truth and I pray that I find it. With God's grace, I'll be here in 2 weeks to convey to others how it went. Otherwise, it was a great ride.

Adieu and God Bless.

Remission...... =) and the financial cliff...... =(

It has been almost 5 months since I posted to this Blog. The reasons are many, but it really came down to the occasional comments that this blog was more for me than for my wife (who is fighting cancer) and that it had gotten dark.

Well cancer is an insidious disease, I wonder why some people think a blog should be a ray of sunshine?

When I first started posting, the blog was for people (who knew us) so they could have a single place to get information quickly regarding Penny's cancer battle and so people could follow and maybe learn where the shortfalls are and can avoid them (lessons learned by us could spread elsewhere). It evolved into being a place for me (the blog writer) to discuss our family's journey into what most people dare not write about (the hard path regarding the journey that is cancer). Since this affects jobs, finances, friendships, medical decisions, depression, happiness, etc.... I wanted to put a spotlight on those things as many are afraid to bring it to light (or talk openly about it). Some people tried to indicate it was a pity party (without taking into consideration anything but their narrow worldview). We have survived for over 2 years with the help of family, friends, our church, and strangers..... and I would not trade that experience with anyone else in the world. I have been blessed to be by the side of my wife for her entire cancer battle (for over 2 years), and the strength of our Marriage has only improved in the face of adversity. If something gleaned from this blog that can help others (even one person), this journey will have been worth it.

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On June 13th, Penny went for her 10th Cystoscopy. So, we went to the Cancer Treatment Center of America in Zion, Illinois on June 12th in order for CTCA to run labs and a prepare for the Cystoscopy on the 13th. Amazingly, the latest Chemo seemed to help Penny turn the corner as she was released that afternoon as there were no tumors to biopsy (only a small patch of bladder material).... the first time she was released the same day of the cystoscopy since her first diagnosis.

Our call to Cancer Treatment Center last year in mid-year was definitely the right call to make (every cystoscopy up to that point at Sherman Hospital had put her in the hospital for days to recover (and she was not improving). She is now officially clear of cancer for the first time in 30 months (and Penny still has her bladder).... an amazing result considering the journey thus far.

In the interim, Travis was approved for Social Security Disability in April and is now covered by Medicare (which is a HUGE relief considering that he will be disabled for the rest of his life). Now if something was to happen to us (his parents), he has options available to him regarding his future.

Regarding my VA claim, I received a denial (they did not send me to a doctor for a review, even though I waited a year for a decision), so I am appealing that decision using a company to represent me.

Regarding my Social Security Disability claim, I have received a second denial and have applied for an Administrative Law Judge review (which is almost standard nowadays), but I have an excellent company representing me regarding this appeal (so we remain hopeful that this will result in an eventual approval. My medical situation is still a mess as the VA is sending me to many specialists to determine just how "off" I am at this point (my right shoulder, my lower back, my gout, my obesity, my vestibular issues, my Depression/Anxiety/PTSD, etc.. They have found via MRI -  "Partial disc dehydration at L3-4 / L4-L5". "Mild to moderate facet arthropathy on the left at L4-5 / L5-S1". So I have s degenerative arthritis affecting the facet joints at L4-5 / L5-S1.

Also, On Saturday (August 2nd), we received 2 letters from IDHS....... indicating due to "Your eligibility cannot be determined due to your FAILURE to provide necessary information". The people dropped off Medicaid? My wife and son (I still have it... along with VA Healthcare). Stunning........

Mind you, we have provided everything they have requested (I have 7 binders of documents which I brought with me to DHS last December... of which they copied everything necessary to make a decision). Get this, I still have Medicaid (and all 3 of us were on the same case file). So we went to the Illinois DHS on August 4th to ask to see someone to find out what they allegedly didn't receive. After standing in line for 90 minutes, we get to the window. We are told that we have to appeal the decision. I asked, what is the appeal based on (what didn't they receive)? She says........ "I don't know", but for us to file an appeal. Then she indicated there was nothing more that she can do. I asked her how can we find out what the missing information is (because one can never get a live person calling their or the Springfield. IL. office... and when one does, they want us to go to the local office.... which we were already at). She then got the hint we weren't walking away with a dismissive "I don't know".

I asked..... how can a case covering 3 people accept the head of household for medical benefits, but reject the disabled spouse and disabled son after they waited a year for a decision (without being told what the definitive reason was for 2 of the 3 people to not be eligible for the same medical benefits)? How can a household get different decisions when all of our information is the same regarding income (which is the only criteria besides having medical insurance through another party)? Finally, she walks off and talks to her manager and comes back 10 minutes later asking us to come back tomorrow with all of our files/documentation and wait for a Customer Service manager to sit down with us. 

So Penny and I went to the DHS office the following day, we waited over 3 hours and when we got to the Customer Service Rep, the system they use was "down". So we had to go back again on another day.

Travis and I went to the DHS office (my 3rd visit in 5 days) on August 8th. After 90 minutes (we were 3rd in line), the re-assigned caseworker told us that the previous caseworker "made a mistake" and they were fixing that mistake today or Monday by approving Penny and Travis' Medicade coverage. Disaster has been averted and we can now concentrate on Penny's continued cancer treatment plus our mortgage / living situation.

Our Illinois Hardest Hit has ended (on July 31st), so we are now officially facing the financial cliff. We have no means to pay our mortgage, so we are now looking at the possibility of bankruptcy. We'll need a prayer for that one.

Penny's next Cystoscopy is scheduled for the day after our anniversary, so we will be at the hospital drawing labs on our anniversary. It isn't the first time Penny has been hospitalized on that day, but we are hopeful that we will have something to celebrate (the continued lack of cancer) during her recovery from that procedure.

That's about it (for now). I'll be posting a 2 1/2 year overview blogpost in a few days so anyone following can see what our road has been like (via bulletpoint) so one doesn't have to read the entire blog.

In the interim, God has blessed us and we continue to praise Him for all of our blessings.

Steinar and Penny Andersen / plus Travis.   =)

Cancer.... returns.....

Regarding Penny,

Penny's cystoscopy 2 weeks ago........ opened Pandora's box (hence the reason for not having written anything in the past 2 weeks as it has been hard to absorb / articulate).

There was definitely cancer cells (very evident to the Urologist), and he removed them and had them biopsied. We found out last Friday afternoon that they were "High Grade papillary urothelial carcinoma with invasion into subepithelial connective tissue". We discussed with the Urologist, the "options" last Friday. She is to undergo another round of chemo (this time, she will be getting treated with Valstar <Valrubicin> - 6 straight weekly treatments). We are hoping that will resolve this latest spread of cancer. If it doesn't, Penny is looking at a Bladder-ectomy (removal of the bladder) and all that entails. She has been told, if the cancer is still there at the next Cystoscopy... that in order to prevent it's spread, that it is in her best interest to have her bladder removed... otherwise, her condition could turn terminal. It was that very thing that hit both Penny and I hard. Penny has showed such resiliency / bravery regarding her condition and I only hope to be as such if I was to ever come down with such a diagnosis (she has endured so much in her life, she is an inspiration to me and those whom we know). We will get through this with God's helpful hand. If it wasn't for the support of our church friends, friends, and family... this would be so much harder to go through. 

Regarding Penny's father,

It has been over 2 months and his services have ended (through his Insurance Company). We are still trying to get the Neuro-psych evaluation done (his attending physician has put in the order, but we are still waiting on "Healthspring". With Penny's additional treatment coming up, we are at a loss as to how to continue being the solution when he is so adamant that he is "fine" when he isn't.

Regarding me,

I spent over 4 hours at the VA last week (the Neuro-psychologist testing). I will be going back to Lovell on April 2nd in order to do the follow-up with the Neuro-psych regarding their final assessment (which includes the results of the Audiology department) plus I am to be fitted for a CPAP machine to deal with my "severe sleep apnea".

It appears that congress is still going to keep extended unemployment benefits hostage to the political process, so we are now looking at the worst case scenario..... bankruptcy (as the doctor still states I cannot "return to work" and the VA / Social Security are still reviewing my Disability case). So, we are at the end of that rope......

Alas.....

Philippians 4:6-7

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Matthew 6:34

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.